Warhammer 40k -Lure of the expanse

Eldar and Sex: the Hunt for the Plasma Gun

Me = Eidward, Toaster = Atari, Sex Man = Corlane, Three-Eyes = Darrius, Twig = Dal, Boss = Joan, Blood Gal = Lilith, Space Gnomes = Eldar

  • Me and Toaster attempt to contact the ship, fail. Were ordered to travel back to shuttle to fix it up and bring random Totum.
  • Sex Man, continuing his travel, bums his ay through the woods. Twig attempts to to contact, but he is busy bumming.
  • Get milk
  • Buy spanners
  • The rest of the group travels to the city. Three-Eyes is stabbed by a splinter.
  • Phone mum.
  • Arriving at the city, the group sees a moving shimmer and decides to wait until dark.
  • I stay as far from the toaster as possible at all times. He smells.
  • The group moves up to wall, attempts to sneak up on shimmer. Fails to realise it’s a shimmer and this is not Deus Ex.
  • Boss is asking for canapés.
  • Hearing voices bemoaning their jobs watching a wall, they decide a plan.
  • Begin Operation Creep Around the Arch and shoot the fuck out of them AKA Operation Orpheus.
  • Remember to take pills.
  • Punch toaster in the face.
  • Twig steps on a twig like an amateur. Fight breaks out.
  • Toaster decides to chicken out and goes the wrong way.
  • I journey on alone. Like a boss.
  • Remember to knit tea cosy.
  • Three-Eyes hides bravely behind rock.
  • Toaster scales the wall.
  • I journey through the woods. Alone.
  • #lizardflail #excelscior
  • They win.
  • Sex guy arrives and promptly has sex.
  • I arrive having gone the wrong way (used fate point).
  • Gets attacked by weird blue fire. Twig falls asleep and has a scary dream which drives her mad.
  • Buy salt for meats.
  • Enemy falls asleep. Toaster pulls pins of grenades and murders eight sleeping people and sends plasma weapon soaring. Blood Gal is very upset, Sex Guy runs for the weapon.
  • I brake communication box #SAD
  • Space Gnomes make weird magic. We climb tower.
  • We fight space gnomes. One goes tumbling, then there were five. Two get shot in different legs. Big Glowing Guy (BGG) looks dangerous. Toaster is ineffective. Conversation Ender works like a dream. Space gnomes are weak ass.
  • Were’s kitty? What's the name of the ship?
  • Remember the osolottes.


asmelson93 zoulong52

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